Facebook to Target Kids, Frowning Poop Emojis Out, and Of Course, CryptoKitties

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‘Tis the season to be merry.

Yes. I still haven’t gone Christmas shopping. And no, I don’t know when. But, I know one thing, technology news keeps on giving us gems to laugh and cry about. We talk about Facebook mining children for their data, virtual kittens, and frowning poop emojis on First News 570 with Mark Starling. Listen in LIVE.

WILL SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN: FACEBOOK ROLLS OUT MESSENGER FOR KIDS
“Well, if someone wasn’t going to make a messaging platform specifically for kids then we should,” at least that the answer Facebook is giving parents and media after rolling out their new Messaging app, Facebook Messenger for Kids. The app is specifically geared towards children who are between the ages of 6 and 12 years old skirting child privacy laws because kids need their parent’s permission to hop on the app. The app will work like any other messaging app, create a profile using your kids real name, and then build a social graph of contacts you can share messages, stickers, and funny internet memes with. It wasn’t as if we were sitting on mountains of data insisting that social networks cause real world depression amongst its users. First, let’s state, FM4K is ad free. But, it’s obvious to me that Facebook is treating children as a potential mine of data to sell to marketers and advertisers on its main platform. Facebook isn’t saying a whole lot, regarding how the intend to monetize this thing or how much data parents will have access to on their kids usage. Also, it’s obvious that once a kid turns 13, Facebook will probably have a single click button allowing said adolescent to grow up to a full on FB account. I’m not impressed.
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THANK GOD, HUMANITY STAYS A LITTLE MORE INTELLIGENT AFTER FROWNING POOP EMOJI DENIED ACCESS TO KEYBOARDS IN 2018
I will admit. I AM DENSE. I find it hard to communicate in two forms. Animated GIFs, and non-ASCII emojis. I just can’t get with using some actor or kitten to communicate what I can say in words. The consortium that writes the standards that translate the character on your keyboard to an actual thing on the screen is called the Unicode Consortium. The little known (outside of computer nerds) organization is responsible for converting that little ‘K’ on the keyboard to an actual ‘K’ you can read on the screen or transmit in email. They’ve unfortunately have been giving the insulting task of converting character strings into graphical emojis, like the F-ing poop emoji. Well, enough is enough, and the typographers at Unicode have denied the Frowning Poop Emoji a place in our ASCII to glyph lexicon. If the aliens don’t come down here and set us straight, the robots will, and if the robots don’t maybe we can count on the AI, but if the AI won’t, then well…
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PROOF THAT CRYPTOCURRENCY IS FLUFF, CRYPTOKITTENS DRAG DOWN TRANSACTIONS
After witnessing Bitcoin reach a valuation of $10,000 per BTC everyone and their grandmother has been coming out of the wood work and asking about Bitcoin and cryptocurrencies. Even though, I regret taking the plunge 10 years ago and setting up an old 486SX to mine BTC, I’m still no believer in the hype, and this weeks news that an cryptogame called CryptoKitties is responsible for causing transactions to be slow should be an indicator for would be speculators. CryptoKitties are virtual pets, users of the Ethereum crypto-network and its currency Ethereum can buy and breed cartoon kittens but only using the network’s currency. An estimated 10% of network traffic is dedicated to buying and breeding these fake cats resulting in over $4.5 million of virtual pussies in the world. A cat sold for over $117k over the weekend, proving we are truly idiots.
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